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Seriously. I can’t even tell anymore. I’ve tried figuring out a sleep schedule that I can keep to, that will require minimal alteration to keep on track. And will also keep at a healthy level of sleep. And will get me out of bed in time for work in the morning.

Why is this so hard? This doesn’t seem like it should be so hard.

My sleep schedule follows my babysitting schedule. When I have to get up in the morning, I have a bedtime. When I don’t, I still try to get up by a certain time but when the summer stretches on and it’s just not so urgent anymore I tend to move both waking and sleeping later and later in the day. Never quite made it to noon, but I’m not really a natural early riser. I get going in the evenings and then it’s easy to just say “I’ll stay up late and get up late, since I’m on a roll now.” But that doesn’t always work so well.

My theory is that it’s a lot like introvert versus extrovert. There’s no such thing as a pure version of either. We all have times when we need to be around people, and when we need to take a step back.

Or maybe it’s more something learned. If you get up in the morning and can function, does that make you a morning person? Or does it only count if you’re cheerful when you wake up? I’m awake, no coffee necessary, but happy? Probably not, especially if we’re talking pre-dawn. (Also, Daylight Savings Time is the worst.)

Or is it a matter of opinion? I can get up and function in the morning, but I hate strongly dislike doing it before a certain point. Of course, I’m generally more productive if I get started earlier, but my longest writing sessions take place at night. I consider being able to stay up a little late to be a sign of a good day, and an early start as something to be wary of.

I’m perfectly capable of getting up in the morning, and being cheerful and getting things done. But it’s not my favorite thing.

And am I this way because I was homeschooled and never really had to get up that early until I was basically an adult? If I’d had that kind of structure, what would I have become? Am I a morning person who trained herself to exist at night? Is that even a thing?

I guess I range more to being a night owl. But if so, why am I now incapable of staying up past a certain point? Shouldn’t a true night owl be able to stay up to all hours?

So, am I a morning person or a night owl?

(The real question is, will I actually manage to just get the sleep I need, regardless of when I go to bed and get up in the morning?)

(So maybe I’m feeling a little sleep deprived lately.)